Ups and Downs

Traveling comes with ups and downs. The opportunity to see new things, go to different places, taste novel foods, and witness a mixture of cultures is generally too good to pass up. But then out of nowhere the homesickness can grab ahold of you, shaking you up so much you can’t think straight.

When I first started solo-traveling, I told myself I would always take every opportunity that came my way. I moved to Ireland for school without too much reservation. I was in a new place, could barely understand the language (the thick Irish took me a while to comprehend), and didn’t know a single person. It was a new chapter of my life so I decided I would say yes to as many new experiences as possible. Why not, right? What did I have to lose? I have maintained this mentality throughout the years of traveling to new places. Always saying yes or at least trying.

Now, if you know me at all, you know that I am not typically a ‘yes person’ in the day-to-day of everyday life. I am generally pretty comfortable with being a homebody- perfectly content ordering food online to be delivered while I binge watch some random TV show that I have probably seen before.

So, traveling gave me an escape from the mundane lifestyle of day-to-day. It opened my mind and heart. And it has helped me identify who I am as an individual. Being thrown into a place where you know no-one and you have to completely start over, gives you a good chance to learn who you are and who you want to be.

Needless to say, traveling has taught me a lot. Not only of the world and different cultures, but also of myself.

That being said… I cannot lie and say everything is peachy-keen and gloriously amazing every single minute. I cannot say that everyday is perfect and that when I am traveling I am always happy. Overall, I have a general happiness with traveling. However, there has been more than one occasion where I cannot seem to make myself excited to go explore. Some days I just want to stay inside and sleep or binge watch something on Netflix. Some days when I am in the most beautiful country in the world I long to be home.

Lately, these days have been happening more and more. My most recent trip to New Zealand has been particularly difficult. I have had to fight feeling homesick nearly every day. Normally it comes in waves and then dissipates. This time feels different.  The work is not easy. Being away from my loved ones is not easy. Being away from my puppies is not easy. Having the sense of being alone is not easy. Being in a never-ending winter is really not easy. Feeling somewhat detached from my support is not easy. Nothing this time has been easy. And I have felt like all I do is complain. (Which again, does not make things easy.) The only thing that has gotten me through it on a day-to-day basis, is knowing I have the best support system in the world. I am not exaggerating when I say everyone in my life, my family, friends, supervisors, and peers, all have shown me (in more ways than one) that they want me to succeed. They have continually encouraged me to continue always reminding me of what I am trying to accomplish. It helps to video chat with them nearly everyday and to be involved with the goings-on back home. This part of my day keeps me grounded and I find the longer I go without talking to them, the slower time seems to pass.

To them I want to say thank you. I love you all. I miss you all. And I hope to see you all soon.

To everyone else out there who may be going through something similar, your feelings are valid and I hope you find some type of support. It may not be where you expect it, but it is out there.

Keep going. Keep traveling. Keep learning. Keep being amazing!