I have always been told, ‘if a Ph.D. was easy… everyone would do it’. I know that I can be guaranteed low times in my research. Well, how do I get out of those challenging times? It helps to find someone who has been through this before and hear how they have handled the situation.
Not really knowing what I was looking for, I started surfing my Universities website and found this paper written by a former Ph.D. student. Even though our fields are not the same, I found the paper helpful. It is called “How to be an Awesome Postgrad Student” by Peter Raffensperger.
He mentioned something I had never thought of before… He said:
“Have some idea of what you’d like to research, but the exact topic is not all-important. You’re learning how to do research, you are changing – that’s what’s important.”
I had never thought of it that way. I had always been worried about the research. It never crossed my mind that the Ph.D. was more about me and my abilities. I am the one changing. I am learning how to be an accomplished researcher; someone able to continue research beyond my specific (and pretty narrow) field.
When I get bogged down with the amount of work, with the translations I can’t figure out, with the tedious (and frankly boring) background reading trying to understand the works of other (more credible) scholars, and the lack of confidence in my own writing, it takes a toll on my motivation. I become overwhelmed and somedays I find myself feeling as if I haven’t accomplished anything. Raffensperger mentioned to “Try to accomplish something measurable every day. … Doing a Ph.D. is not about being super-smart. It’s about persistence. A Ph.D. will take you through valleys of despair; don’t give up!”
Something measurable every day. I can do that. Since I read the article, I have been focused on small daily tasks rather than big goals (‘This week I need to get X done…’, ‘I need Y finished by Z…’) or time limits (‘I’ll stay on campus for 6 hours today…’, ‘I am leaving by 5 no matter how much I have done…’). It is remarkable how much more efficient I am when I have tiny daily tasks listed which I make the night before. I don’t think about the big picture. Therefore, I don’t get overwhelmed which helps my stress level. I know everything will come together in the grand scheme. I can relax a little and focus solely on the matter at hand.
There will be a time when I will look back at all the stress I have put myself through for no reason. But it is difficult in the ‘now’. It is difficult to remember that it is okay I don’t know something. It is okay that I don’t remember every single thing I have ever learned. It is okay that sometimes I have to re-learn something.
“Your increased knowledge of a field implies even greater awareness of the gaps in your knowledge. Don’t fret about it. Keep reading and try to laugh when you forget something that seems basic. You are becoming an expert.”
I did not do a great job of keeping track of my notes when I first started my research. I am working to change that. I am writing summaries of all papers, books, articles, etc. that come across my desk. I started to keep a small journal of questions I think of throughout the day, no matter how simple. If I have a question, I obviously need an answer. I need to start taking my own advice I give to my students: There is no such thing as a stupid question. It is stupid to not ask the question.
I hope throughout my research, I can remember. What is important is that I am the one changing. That is the point of the Ph.D! Yes, the research is important and needs to be done. But as Raffensperger said:
“Remember that your Ph.D.’s most useful contribution to humanity may not be your research but rather you. You’re learning to do research. You may do a lot more research after your Ph.D. and that later research may be more useful than your Ph.D. research, especially since your post-Ph.D. research can be larger in volume. But you have to start somewhere.”
For the full paper, visit: “How to be an Awesome Postgrad Student”
Just About Anything 