I have officially past the point of no return for my dissertation. And, I cannot be more elated/relieved! I have finished my 12-month confirmation viva.
For my doctoral thesis, I have to complete a certain number of benchmarks before I can officially be awarded the Ph.D. Every 6 months I have to do something and the 12-month benchmark is probably the biggest and most important benchmark (besides the final oral defense) throughout the entire research project. They say this is pretty much the last point when the university can kick me out of the program (unless, of course, I do something completely heinous).
The viva is an oral presentation in front of two of my committee members and an independent assessor from the department. The independent assessor is also the chair of the committee who will eventually confirm that my research is thorough enough to continue for two more years. (Pretty much this is the person to be careful not to piss off.) He is the guy who has the privilege of reading my current research, commenting on what I present during the viva, and ask as many questions as he deems fit.
So, after about three weeks of preparing (and even longer preparing mentally), I sent my examiner my 12-month confirmation paper detailing my research topic, my entire literature review, and all of the research I have completed this past year. It was 50 pages long! Then I waited. With something that large, he obviously needed some time to read and fully understand everything. So I waited, and waited, and waited until I heard back from the postgraduate office with a date and time for my oral presentation. Two weeks later, the day had finally arrived.
Now, there is something you need to know about me. Every single time I need to present something big and important, something always goes wrong with the technological aspect of the presentation. A half an hour before my presentation, I printed off my notes (just in case- I have learned to prepare for all outcomes). Only to find that my notes seemed to have created a massive jam inside the middle of the printer. ‘Oh boy!’ I thought, ‘It’s starting…’
After finding the IT guy and convincing him that the printer was indeed broken, he begrudgingly strolled to the printer (which was just outside his office), opened it up, and quickly found the issue. ‘Okay’, I sighed a sense of relief, ‘this wasn’t too bad. I can handle that. Let’s just hope nothing else stops working for me.’
Oh, how naïve I can be… I walked upstairs to the room to make sure my slides would work on the projector only to find out that the computer would not let me log in. Nor would it let my supervisor log on. Coming prepared because these things happen to me a lot, I had naturally brought my laptop. Yet, even with four grown adults searching every corner of the room, no plugin was in sight. Turns out, someone had taken the adaptor for a Mac because apparently, they are in high demand. So much fun. Luckily I had the good sense to come with yet another option. I had my presentation on a USB drive. That meant as long as I could get a computer to work, I could plug in my USB. Now, to find someone with an extra laptop. Just when you need people to be in their offices, no one is available… Enter, the saving grace for the day. The postgraduate director overseeing the presentation had just shown up with a spare laptop he was willing to let me use.
After that, everything worked great! I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome. I was able to get my presentation up and running. I had all of my notes in order and I didn’t go over time. (I only had 20 minutes). I was afraid my voice would shake because I was so nervous, but according to my supervisors, they didn’t notice my nerves at all! YAY!!
Feeling good about the talk, it was time to humble me and bring me back down to earth. It was question time… The first question completely threw me. You’d think I would have anticipated this type of question. However, I did not. The examiner asked… “What outcome would represent the greatest failure in regards to your research and what outcome would represent the greatest success?”
WOW! What!?
I honestly hadn’t given that much thought. I had only thought about what I wanted to research and how I was going to make that happen. I hadn’t really given too much thought to how this research would fail… Nevertheless, I threw myself right into the answer and tried to make sense of it all. The questions after were a breeze! I had no problem answering and clarifying all of the confusing bits of my research and presentation.
By the end, I was feeling good. They asked me to leave. I took the laptop back to the director, went back to my office, called my family, and awaited my fate.
What seemed like forever, I heard a slight knock on my door. It was my two supervisors. They had come to congratulate me with big, open smiles! I had done it! It was still unofficial at this point because the paperwork still needed to go through to the University. But they were able to tell me about the fantastic outcome!
Two days later, I received the official letter from the University. I am officially a third of a doctor! 🙂 I can continue on for the next two years.
This news brought with it an interesting feeling which I was not expecting. For the past year, I have felt like an imposter (a common feeling among postgraduates). I have felt like I had no clue what I was doing or why I was here. But once they said yes to my research, all of a sudden I feel as if I now belong. I feel like I know that I don’t know everything and that is okay. But I feel like I have a good sense of what I need to do now and how I am going to make this research work for me! I actually feel like a real Ph.D. Research Candidate!
Just About Anything 